How to divorce your parents

(Note how these conversations always seem to take place at bedtime...)

Mom: It's time for bed. Put away the train and get your pajamas on.

Tom: No, I'll NEVER go to the bed.

Mom: Never?

Tom: Mom, if you make me go to bed, then I will not be your son anymore.

Mom (trying really hard not to laugh) : Not be my son? I'm afraid you're stuck, little man. There is no way you can't be my son.

Tom: Yeah-huh.

Mom: How exactly will you do that?

Tom: I will take my toys and move somewhere else.

Mom: Where?

Tom: I don't know. I haven't thought of that yet.